Jasper's Quest
by IB Freak
Summary: Jasper, feeling something is missing in life, leaves his family to search for it. My take on how Jasper found Alice. Chapter 3 now posted.
1. Yearning

_This is my first fanfic ever. Please review, and be honest. If it's horrible, say so (although, TRY to make it constructive). _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight_

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Chapter 1

Interesting, how one small decision can change your life forever.

I can't say what it was about that night that was different from any other night since I'd been changed. The sounds, smells, tastes…they were all the same. They've always been much alike to me, the humans.

There was nothing special about this girl, nothing to captivate my senses, nothing to draw me in. I can't even recall her face. She was merely available. Out of sight of any humans, I took her, killing her silently and ruthlessly. As with every other, I took pleasure in the kill, savouring the taste of her blood. I have no qualms in killing humans.

And yet, as I left the girl sprawled lifeless on the ground, I knew something was missing. The thrill, the satisfaction in the hunt, it was gone. At that moment, I realized that my life was without purpose, without meaning. I merely flitted from human to human, taking their lives to avoid a death I should have died long ago.

I had experienced this odd feeling frequently the last few times I'd hunted. I suppose it had started two or three months before this night, the urgent feeling that I was destined for something better. But this was the strongest yet I'd felt it.

I wandered aimlessly around the town for several hours that night, contemplating my new revelation. I ran it through my mind over and over, trying to discern the mystery that was lowering my spirits. What could have changed? What had brought on this sudden depression? I had lived in this way for well over fifty years, and been perfectly content with my life. There was no reason for this urgent feeling that I had to leave, had to seek out something I'd been missing.

When I returned to my family, they immediately recognized a change in me. When you've been with the same people for over fifty years, you come to be aware of every slight change in their demeanour. And mine was no small change.

Maria, my maker, easily saw my sadness. She came to me and rested her slender hands on my shoulder. "What is it, Jasper?" she asked in a melodic voice.

"I need to leave." What else could I say? I myself still wasn't sure _why_ I needed to leave.

Surprisingly, she took it in stride. "Why?" was the only reply she made.

I didn't answer. I didn't _have_ an answer. What should I tell her? That I was missing a part of myself? That I needed to find myself?

"Jasper?"

She stared up at me with patient eyes. I could see worry and concern etched into them, and regretted that I would have to hurt her. I could feel her emotions radiating off of her, full of pain. She didn't want me to leave.

I enjoy my power of reading the emotions of others. Emotions are the basis of humanity. It's what separates us from animals, what makes us human…or almost human. At many times our emotions can be overbearing, and we wish we could be without them. But without our emotions, we would be hollow; empty shells without of life.

"I need to go search for something Maria…I can't tell you what it is, because I don't exactly know. I only know that whatever it is, it isn't here."

With that, I left. I didn't give her a chance to call me back, to persuade me to stay. For all I know, she may have succeeded.

An hour later, I found myself in the wilderness, in pursuit of an object I'd yet to identify. My single decision had left me alone, without a family, and with few prospects. All I could do was hope my search would end quickly.

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_I know it's short, I'm sorry. If there's enough interest, I'll keep updating. Otherwise, this will be it._


	2. London

_Wow. I'm sorry it's taken so long, but things have been a little crazy. I just haven't had much time for any writing. But here it is, chapter 2 is finally finished, and I hope you'll like it as much as you enjoyed chapter 1. Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews, I'm very glad you enjoy my story. So, without further delay, here's chapter 2._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight_

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Chapter 2

I traveled at random, without caring for where I was going. I fed as needed, the odd feeling becoming more and more insistent each time; I was destined for something better. There _had_ to be something better.

My roaming eventually led me to London, and my scholarly nature brought me to one of the Oxford libraries. I made my visits after hours, in order to minimize contact with humans. It was a simple thing to enter the locked facilities and view any material I wished.

As I browsed through one of the many shelves, I became aware of the presence of another. It was no human, I could tell, but a creature like me. I searched him out and found him waiting for me at a large table, with several books laid out in front of him.

He had all the traits that vampires generally have: the pale skin, the circles under the eyes, the beauty. I stepped towards him, happy to meet another like me. But as I studied him, I realized that he was somewhat different. His eyes were not the deep red I had grown accustomed to as a vampire. Instead, they were a soft gold.

He rose from the table, smiling kindly. "A pleasure to meet you," he said, extending a hand. I watched him for a moment, feeling his emotions. He was sincerely happy to meet another of our kind. He meant me no harm. I closed the distance between us, taking his hand and shaking it.

"Pleasure's all mine," I replied. "Jasper. Jasper Whitlock."

"Jonathon Hayes. Please, sit. It isn't often we get other vampires in town." He sat back down among his books, gesturing for me to join him. I sat across from him, glancing at the titles of his selections. Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Dickens, and many other notable authors lay scattered there.

"Quite the collection you've assembled," I commented, picking up one of the volumes.

"My favourites," Jonathon noted, placing his hand over one of them. He leaned back after a moment, observing me. "So, do you plan to stay in London long, Jasper?"

Stay long? He didn't just ask that, did he? How could I stay any place for long without drawing unwanted attention from humans?

"Only as long as I'm able," I answered after a moment. "It wouldn't be possible to stay for an extended amount of time; humans may grow suspicious."

Jonathon smiled. I could feel the humour radiating off him. "On the contrary," he told me. "My family and I maintain a permanent residence not far from here."

Impossible. Humans were often slow to realize what we were, but they invariably figured it out. It was what made a nomadic life necessary.

But I could taste the truth in his words.

"How can that be?" I asked, thoroughly intrigued by this vampire.

Jonathon laughed, leaning towards me. "I think we have much to learn of each others' lifestyles, Jasper." He stood, picking up the books he'd assembled. He shelved them, and joined me back at the table. "Perhaps you could accompany me to my home; I'm certain my family would be pleased to meet you as well."

I had been enjoying my brief conversation with him, and found myself quite eager to continue. It had been so long since I'd had contact with another vampire. And I still sensed no threat from him. He was merely as curious about me as I was about him.

"I'd be happy to join you," I replied.

"Excellent."

We walked towards his house at a leisurely pace, as there were still many humans about on the street. There were many questions I wished to ask him, and he seemed pleased to answer them all.

"How many are you?" I began, starting with the most simple.

"Five," Jonathon answered. "Marian, Cassandra, Victor, Rachel, and myself."

Five of them lived among humans without their feeding being noticed? Each minute made my conversation with this man more and more interesting.

"How is it possible?" I asked, unable to contain my curiosity any longer. "How can so many live here without being exposed?"

Jonathon sighed, glancing at me. "I suspect our feeding habits greatly differ. Surely you observed the difference between our eyes?"

I again noted the gold tones in his eyes. Certainly they were unusual, but I had not thought it might be related to feeding.

"The colour," I stated. "Your eye colour is odd…golden, somehow."

Jonathon nodded. "As I said, it is due to our feeding. You asked how my family can remain here without being exposed. You see, Jasper, my family abstains from hunting humans."

The words hit me with a terrible shock. Abstain from hunting humans? In all my years as a vampire, this was the first I had heard of it. How could a vampire survive without human blood? Why would a vampire _want_ to avoid human blood?

Since my change, I had been raised by family to regard the humans as inferior. They were insignificant, only to be used as food by us. Compassion was not to be given to them. It was only natural for a vampire to hunt humans; I had been taught that since my birth as a vampire.

We had arrived at Jonathon's house by this time. The house was a large three story mansion with a wrap around porch, painted bright blue. Like many other properties on the street, it was surrounded by a tall wrought iron fence.

We entered the house, and were met by Jonathon's family. The four of them were in a sitting room, as if waiting for us.

"Welcome to our home, Jasper," one of the women said in a soft, melodic voice. "Please, sit."

My former family had taught me to be naturally suspicious of others. I read each of these new vampires carefully, making sure they held no malice. When I was satisfied that they would not try to harm me, I took a seat beside Jonathon.

We spent most of the night discussing our pasts. All five of them had been created by other families, families similar to mine. They had each developed sympathy for humans, and disgust for human blood. After leaving their families, they had eventually found each other, and lived together ever since.

I was invited to stay with them, and I happily agreed. I had been on my own for several months now, and I craved company. I stayed with the family for several weeks, getting to know them quite well.

I learned much about their way of life. Frankly, I did not understand the struggle they constantly put themselves through. They fed on the supremely inferior blood of animals, and forced themselves to be around humans every day. I could not see where the sympathy for the humans had arisen.

I refused to join them. I continued to hunt the people of London, though the Hayes constantly tried to dissuade me. Stubborn as I was, I refused to even consider their arguments. I would not be deterred from my natural food source.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time with the Hayes, even with our disagreements. However, it could not last long. My feeding was beginning to draw attention. Too many humans had been disappearing as of late, and suspicion was growing. I could not be so selfish as to destroy what the Hayes had built here, and I knew my time in London was over.

It was also becoming clear to me that whatever I was searching for, it did not lie in London. I took my leave of the Hayes after five short weeks, regretting my necessary departure. They immediately understood my need, and assured me that I would be welcomed back at any time.

As I set out, I knew I would not see them again, at least not for a very long time. I was once again alone in my quest, unsure of my next destination.

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_The next chapter may take a while, and I promise, I'll get it to you ASAP. Don't worry if chapter three doesn't come for a few days; I promise, it's coming!_

_P.S. I loved receiving all the wonderful support in the reviews. I'd appreciate more, and please, don't be afraid to say what you really think!_


	3. Paris

_Oh wow. I'm really sorry this took so long, I've just been really busy. But hey, school and exams are all done now, so I can focus on writing. So here it is, I really hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Thank you so much for the support I've been receiving too, I really appreciate it!_

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I made my way to Paris after London, taking in the beautiful architecture and art. I explored the city for days, viewing the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame, and much more. I took my time at each, not wanting miss a single detail in the beauty surrounding me. I was again forced to view the marvels after sunset, wanting to avoid human contact. There was only one thing I needed from humans, and it certainly wasn't conversation.

I saved the best treasure for last, forcing myself to wait a while before viewing it. The Louvre, the most famous museum in the world, amazed me when I finally visited it. I stood outside the museum for what must have been at least an hour, admiring the beauty of the architecture. Nothing, I decided, could be more perfect.

"If you think this is amazing, you should see the interior."

The voice so startled me that I turned quickly, letting a small growl escape my lips. I immediately stifled it, seeing that the speaker was a vampire, and sensing that she meant me no harm. I felt embarrassed that I had left myself so unguarded, so enrapt with the building that I hadn't heard her approach.

"Sarah Warman," she offered when I remained silent. I nodded, reaching out a hand.

"Jasper Whitlock."

We stood in silence for a few moments, observing one another. Sarah was tall and slender, with dark curls falling down her back. I felt an odd sense of relief when I noted that her eyes were red.

"Have you ever visited the Louvre?" she asked, gesturing to the palace in front of us. I shook my head. I had never been to the Louvre; I had never even been to Paris. "Your first time, then? You really must join me."

Her smile was warm and inviting, and I felt it would be rude of me to reject the offer. I could sense a slight infatuation in her, but quickly dismissed it. Her affections were misplaced; I was not looking for a companion. Surely her attractions were fleeting, and could not possibly last long.

We entered the building together, and I once again found myself astonished. I'd heard of the beauty of the museum, but still…it was amazing. We strode through the halls, surrounded by the works of masters, stopping at each painting in order to view it properly.

"How long have you been in Paris, Jasper?" Sarah asked, studying me.

I didn't take my eyes off the painting as I answered. "Only a few days. I don't imagine I'll be staying long, either. And you?"

Sarah wasn't pleased with my answer. Her disappointment flowed out of her in waves. "I arrived in Paris a week ago. I haven't decided how long I'll be staying."

We moved onto the next painting, Da Vinci's Madonna of the Rocks. There was an awkward silence between us, so thick it could almost be cut with a knife. I stood in front of the masterpiece, struggling to come up with something to say to her. It wasn't that I didn't want to be here with her. I didn't particularly want to be with anyone tonight.

I was saved from my struggles by an interruption. "Who's there?"

We both turned, gazing down the long corridor. An unfortunate guard had found us, and was approaching us hesitantly, gun drawn. He had, oddly enough, addressed us in English. Perhaps he'd heard us speaking. I felt a familiar longing in my throat, and felt excess venom start to fill my mouth. I started towards him, letting out a low growl. I felt a wave of fear pass through him, and he took a step back.

"Stay where you are!" he commanded, shaking. When I didn't stop, he tightened his grip on his gun. "I mean it! Stop!"

I reached him, taking away the gun and tossing it aside. I calmed him with my powers, and he stopped struggling against me. My teeth found his pulse and I bit in, savouring the warmth of his blood. I finished him and let him fall to the ground, turning back to Sarah.

"Shall we continue?" I asked, moving back towards her. Sarah smiled in response and we continued down the hall.

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When dawn approached, we parted, going our separate ways. We continued to meet at the Louvre for weeks, refusing to rush through the beauty all around us. All the while I was with her, I could feel her infatuation slowly growing, but I would not acknowledge it. I couldn't. She would just have to accept that I couldn't be with her _that_ way.

"What caused you to leave your coven?" Sarah asked the last day as we stood in one of the many rooms. We'd been here for five weeks, and her feelings for me had only grown.

I hesitated at the question, not sure how to answer it. I'd had over a year now to think about it, but my decision was no clearer to me than it had been the day I'd left.

"I was dissatisfied with my life," I stated, not looking at her. "I…I'm not sure why, but I just felt I couldn't live with them anymore. I felt like I needed to search for something…so here I am."

Sarah nodded in understanding. "You've left others behind," she guessed. "People who care about you."

It felt good getting this all out. I'd been keeping silent for so long now, hardly letting even myself recognize my feelings. I recognized the irony of it; I, who could sense and manipulate the emotions of any person, could not understand my own.

"Maria…" I started. I paused, trying to rein in my emotions. "My maker," I explained. "She didn't want me to leave, but she let me go."

Sarah sat down on a bench. "My maker was killed by another vampire," she offered, as if her own pain could lessen mine.

"You were close?" I asked, sitting beside her. She nodded, and I sensed extreme pain. "Lovers?"

She looked up at me, confused. "How would you..?"

I leaned back. "I can sense emotions, and manipulate them. You just had so much pain when you mentioned him…I figured there had to be something between you."

"You can sense emotions." I knew what she meant. "Why have you been…I mean, if you know how I feel about you…"

I stood, moving away from her. There it was. I'd been naïve to think that if I ignored her attraction it would go away. "I can't Sarah. I've known how you felt about me, but I just can't return those feelings."

"You're looking for something…" Sarah started, walking towards me. "Maybe-"

"No." I turned towards her, shaking my head. "No, Sarah, I may not be certain what I'm looking for, but I know what it isn't, and it's not you. I'm sorry."

Sarah closed her eyes, turning away from me. If she could, I knew she'd be crying now. "Jasper…please…"

I shook my head, backing away a little. "I have to go, Sarah."

She turned on me, looking extremely pained. "You're leaving?" she stared at me for a moment, confused. "Why?"

I smiled kindly, trying to comfort her with my power. It only worked a little. "I'm still searching," I reminded her. "I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to, Sarah, I truly am. I don't think it would be fair to continue leading you on."

Sarah nodded in agreement, resigning herself to the pain of leaving. "I suppose you're right," she admitted. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Jasper."

I turned away, glancing around one last time at the art around me. I couldn't stay here. I still had my search to carry through.

"Good bye, Sarah," I said. I didn't wait for a reply. I left the Louvre, left Paris, not looking back. I couldn't. Not when I could feel so much pain left in my wake.

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_There. I hope you liked it. Next time I'll try not to wait a month before updating, I promise! Please keep the reviews coming, I love receiving them!_


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